Absolutely everything we see, hear, feel or experience is simply information. It is not inherently good or bad, it just is. We are the ones who desire categorizing and sorting information to better understand and evaluate our experiences. We add the meaning to the information. We label the information and call it good, bad or ugly. We are the ones who add emotion to the information.
Example: You’re driving and in a bit of a rush, then someone cuts you off and you almost hit them. You immediately slam on your brakes, blast the horn and begin cursing them out. Then, when you arrive to work, you say “This A-hole cut me off and because of him I’m now in a bad mood.” Sound familiar?
Now, this next part is difficult to swallow and even harder to put into practice but it’s possible. So, what happened, what is the information? Someone cut you off so you had to react by slowing down to avoid an accident. INFORMATION. Not good or bad just a fact. Because you were in a hurry the slowing down got categorized as BAD. This sudden reaction triggered your stress response and heightened whatever emotions were already at the surface (anxiety and tension) turning them into anger and rage. All of these emotions get categorized as BAD. Now you have a reason to walk around fully expressing the emotions that were at the surface because that guy “made you feel this way.”
Guess what? No one can make you feel anything. You decide how you feel. I know, I know, you’re thinking “come on, this is a normal reaction, he did make me feel this.” The reality is that the situation aggravated the state you were already in making his actions easily categorized as bad and further fueling your heightened “negative” emotions.
Here’s the hard part to practice. See the situation as information and work to change your reaction. You have the ability to experience that same scenario and simply laugh. Or smile and be grateful that you are such a skilled driver, you were able to avoid the accident because of your hyper awareness. You can sit back and breathe and send love to that man, hoping he learns his lesson that he needs to slow down. You can choose to see the information and categorize the missed accident as good, you can choose to take 3 deep breathes and quickly calm your nervous system back down. You have the ability to react any way you want to a situation. Like magic, you can choose to be happy and free even when a situation may seem like it’s built to make you break down.
Someone can say “wow that dress looks terrible on you.” And you can respond by smiling, laughing and saying “Thanks!” Yes, people may question your sanity at times but in the end who feels better, the person who said a mean comment or the person who doesn’t let other people’s opinions effect their happiness. Keeping a peaceful and happy mental state is the key to happiness. Simple as that. The way to maintain a happy mental state is to work on your response and reaction to information. How are you going to categorize this and why? Really think about it and think about what feels best for you in the long run. And if you have to scream and curse the guy out for 2 seconds to let out your emotions, then do that. But work on the aftermath. The emotion doesn’t have to linger. It can be released and you can work your way back to a state of calm.
You are in control of your life. Everything is simply information. What are you going to do with this information? That’s what matters.
Earth School Lesson # 4: Question Everything